Mother’s Day to many is a day of celebration, the truth is though, for many, Mother’s Day can be a painful and difficult day for

  • Women whose children have died at any age.
  • Women who have had miscarriages.
  • Men, women and children whose mothers have died.

Each person’s grief, and his or her response to the pain of grief is always highly individual, but no matter what, if you are a mother whose child has died, or, if you are a child whose mother has died, Mother’s Day is a sad time.

For women whose children have died, it can almost go without saying that Mother’s Day is deeply painful, If you know a mother whose child has died, at any age, please acknowledge her motherhood as well as her pain. The greatest gift for a bereaved mother on Mother’s Day can be the simple, but hugely powerful, recognition of her motherhood.

Even though our children have died, we are still mothers–to all of our children. The simple act of recognition allows a bereaved mother the validation she so often seeks and sadly, so often finds missing. A hug and a “Happy Mother’s Day,” even if that seems improbable, could mean more than one could imagine.

There are many things supportive friends and family members can do to help ease the pain of this difficult day, such as

  • Visit her child’s grave
  • Talk about her child, use her child’s name in conversation.
  • If you have a special memory of her child, send a card with a story of that memory enclosed.
  • A phone call to check in and a simple, “I was thinking of you today” can be a great help

Some ways you can honour the love you feel for a lost child or Mother

  • Light a candle.
  • You might wish to donate to a charity in your child’s or your mother’s name.
  • Plan a visit to the Grave or Crematorium.
  • Plant a tree of shrub.
  • Create a work of art or start a scrapbook.
  • Make a memory box.
  • Listen to songs she loved.
  • Name a star after your child or Mother.

Doing something to care for yourself can help to alleviate any stress and anxiety you may feel at this time, such as

  • Have a massage.
  • Manicure, pedicure.
  • Spa day.
  • Visit a favourite place.
  • Taking time to be alone.
  • Take a walk, spend time in nature.
  • If you need support, don’t be afraid to ask for it.

For anyone who is struggling with their grief Bereavement Counselling can help you adjust to your loss.

Rowland Brothers Foundation offers free Bereavement Counselling to those in the Croydon area. Please call Christine on 020 8660 5547 or email for further information.